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maya yasmeen...

[ website | GIVE ME HUGS BITCHES! ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[18 Oct 2004|08:32pm]
i got a new livejournal, it's __saved. so yea, comment there and maybe i'll add you. if i really love ya.</span>
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[18 Oct 2004|07:43am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

i'm dreading school...you all know why...

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[17 Oct 2004|10:49pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

i hate boys.

i hate how in the end,
you always end up liking them,
and of course you can't have them.

i hate that boys are always so fuck appealing,
i wish they were all ugly!!

but then again, as most people know,
i end up falling for the guy with horrible acne. so yea.


god i hate crushes. i really do.

all they do is get you down...

gah i need to find a boyfriend. i have on in mind, but yea...

o yea jim, sorry about you and sharon, might not seem like i am, but i really am.

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demon child! [17 Oct 2004|07:57pm]
so yea, just got back from babysitting larry. one word HORRIBLE! nuff said.
now on to other things..like me trying to clear my head of jim. he's all i can fucking think about. every song i listen in the end reminds me of him. god why the fuck did he have to be so freaking sweet and listen to my problem. why? i really need to stop liking him, and actually start liking someone without a girlfriend, because then, i could actually go out with him. but now, i have to like the guy with the girlfriend. dammit!

i have just realized that he will be able to read this...o well, he might as well know how i feel, even if it doesn't really matter
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[17 Oct 2004|03:28pm]
[ mood | chipper ]


your fave sex toy
Name / Username
your toy is metal handcuffs
This quiz by stardustchik69 - Taken 4 Times.
</a>
New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology and Horoscopes



i love handcuff. =)

so today was fun. went to waldorf for the third time this week. went to a highschool information thing to help the 8th grade out with their applications and any questions they had. i saw sergio, paul, and johannes. haha, they all got really hot. okay well, most girls would only say the serg and johan got hotter. but paul got hotter in my eyes ^_^ it was so great to see them, it was like old times. johanness and serg were still pissing me off with their little annoying comments, but i love them any way. i also saw my crazy little asian koran who i missed so much. saw julia and adam. it was so awkward just sitting there talking about our schools. i think i scared some parents when i told them about BSA. i was being truthful. i mean what did they want me to do, lie? it's so great, because a lot of the 8th graders are applying to bsa. so that's cool. BSA FOREVER! that would be a team motto if we had any team sports!!
later on around four ( haha that's in a half hour) i'm going over to help joe babysit. he doesn't like the kid, i love him, he's so flipping sweet. but then again, i've only met him once. he seemed pretty calm to me, but joe kept on saying, he's not, he's really not. so yea, well see.
i wanna wish a happy birthday to one of my livejournal friends, MEANGURL; i forget the rest of her user name. SORRY happy birthday!!!

ladadada boom d a
la dadada boom da
bandit pooped today

yea, i made that song up when i was walking joe's dog, bandit thought it was funny..i think.

choa bellas!
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[16 Oct 2004|03:23pm]
The Potion Maker
toxic_pandabearium is an opaque, swirling lavender liquid leeched from the brain of a doppelganger.
Mix with toxic_pandabear! Username:
Yet another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern
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[16 Oct 2004|02:16pm]
[ mood | cold ]

Your Stripper Name is: Princess




THIS IS FUCKING SCARY! I'VE NEVER BEEN CALLED PRINCESS, AND I HOPE IT STAYS THAT WAY!!!!
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you've made me perfect... [16 Oct 2004|01:08pm]
[ mood | weird ]

hey. for some odd reason, i'm really tired, and my head really hurts, because i've been thinking way to much. that sounds really funny... yea, been thinking about this one person. i hate having a crush on some one, because in the end all you ever do is think about the 24/7. it annoys me. because i have to finish a book today, so i can write a 2 page essay on it. and i have like 196 pages to go, and everytime i try to pick the book up and read, my mind always seems to wonder places. i hate it when my mind does that.
i'm not sure what kind of mood i'm in today. i feel sorta weird. like i have all these thing bubbling inside me. it's such a weird feeling. last night was fun, just wish the person who i have been thinking about was there with me. he could have been...but i don't think he would of come, even if i had begged him...........

and there i go, spacing out again. it's really cold down here in baltimore. and i've been begging my mom to turn on the heat. my toes are frozen. >.< and so are my fingers.

okay, i'm gone with the wind. i gotta go see if joe is home, because he has all my cds, and i want them back, because i'm in the mood to listen to FATA.

2 comments|post comment

why do parents make kids get up this early??? [14 Oct 2004|07:22am]
[ mood | awake ]

thought about it all night, i even had a dream about...gotta figure out a way to actually talk to paul. because i haven't seen him in a month...o well, i'll figure out a way to ask him out some how...

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[12 Oct 2004|07:16am]
i just want a friend. is that so much to ask for? i'm tired of trying to be someone else just so i can fit in. fuck.........................
1 comment|post comment

fuck boys, fuck em all! [11 Oct 2004|07:07pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

boys suck they do. especially the really sweet ones who actually listen to your fucked up problems. you get to know them, you listen to their problems, you fall for them hard. then, they met another girl. and this is not your typical girl, this is the girl that is smarter than you, funnier than you, HOTTER then you. and then they totally forget about you. and then you're heartbroken. boys fucking suck. why do boys have to mess with girls heads? why can't boys just like girls for who they are, why can't i be with the one i want? why, i've done nothing but good things. and whenever god throws a great guy at me, they always fucking seem to slip the fuck away. why can't women just use them as sex toys....that's probably all boys are good for.

5 comments|post comment

[11 Oct 2004|06:05pm]
[ mood | cold ]

Oh why cant I be what you need
a new improved version of me
but i'm nothing so good
no i'm nothing
just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
of violence of love and of sorrow
i beg for just one more tomorrow
where you hold me down fold me in
deep deep deep in the heart of your sins

I break in two over you
I break in two
And each piece of me dies
And only you can give the breath of life
But you dont see me, you dont...

here i'm in between darkness and light
bleached and blinded by these nights
where im tossing and tortured til dawn
by you, visions of you then youre gone
the shock lifts the red from my face
when i hear someone's taking my place
how could love be so thoughtless, so cruel
when all, all that i did was for you

i break in two over you
i break in two
and each piece of me dies
and only you can give the breath of life
but you dont see me you dont..

i break in two over you
i break in two
and each piece of me dies
and only you can give the breath of life
but you dont see me you don't...

i break in two over you
i break in two over you, over you
i break in two
i would break in two for you
now you see me
now you don't
now you need me
now you don't

yea, that song explains the selfish feeling i have at the moment. why do boys always have to be involved
in my problems? why do i always seem to like the boys who i know i have no chance with. i can tell you why,
because they're the best kind...

so yea today, well it sucked. it really did. i felt like i was friendless, completly alone. so alone,
that i almost cried in the middle of math class. but i didn't i put on a fake smile for the rest of the
day. and now, when i fianlly want to relieve all the jealousy, hate, fear, dread and all the other shit
i keep bottled inside, i can't seem to let it flow out of me...

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The Fiction We Live [10 Oct 2004|12:38am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

You might be just what I need
No I would not change a thing
Been dreaming of this so long
But we only exist in this song
The thing is, I'm not worth the sorrow
And if you come and meet me tomorrow
I will hold you down, fold you in
Deep, deep, deep in the fiction we live
I break in two over you
I break in two
And if a piece of you dies
Autumn, I will bring you back to life
Of course I see you
I do.
1 comment|post comment

[07 Oct 2004|08:34pm]
[ mood | calm ]

i'm really happy. i mean really happy. the only thing that is messing up my happiness is my damn throat, because i wore it out talking on the phone. YAR!

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[07 Oct 2004|07:19pm]
[ mood | i'm so happy, i'm floating! ]

i feel like i'm floating on air! my mom totaly kicks ass! she's letting me go to the mall with jim on sunday. which rocks, because i've been wanting to hang out with him for weeks. school was great today. we did nothing since it was open school day. lots of parents came, except mine didn't. o well. i was so happy all day, not even once did i get depressed about my life, which is a huge start for me. i've been floating on cloud 9 all day, i haven't had time to stop and worry about all this bullshit going on inside me. it's a great feeling to finally forget all your worries and just live a little.

i'm so in love with my life right now!
okay i'm going to go. aussie, feel better babe. things will get better. just rely on the people around you. if they are your true friends, which i know all of them are, they'll listen and be there for you.
to everyone else, stay hardcore!

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[06 Oct 2004|10:42pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

i wanna go to the mall on sunday! GOD PLEASE LET MY MOM LET ME GO!!!!!!!!!!

stay hardcore.

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cute without the 'e' (cut from the team) [06 Oct 2004|07:30pm]
[ mood | i'm feeling very "emo" ]

Your lipstick, his collar.. don't bother Angel
I know exactly what goes on

When everything you'll get is
everything that you've wanted, princess
(well which would you prefer)
My finger on the trigger, or
(me face down, down across your floor)
Me face down, down across your floor
(me face down, down across your floor)
Well just so long as this thing's loaded

And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
let's go...

Don't bother trying to explain Angel
I know exactly what goes on when you're on and
How about I'm outside of your window
(how about I'm outside of your window)
Watchin him keep the details covered
You're such a sucker (you're such a sucker)
for a sweet talker, yeah

And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
(the only thing that I regret is that I, I never let you hold me back)
And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin

Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know...

Why can't I feel anything
from anyone other than you?
Why can't I feel anything
from anyone other than you?

And all of this was all your fault
And all of this

(I stay jealous)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life
(she'll destroy us all before she's through
and find a way to blame somebody else)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life
(she'll destroy us all before she's through
and find a way to blame somebody else)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life!

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[03 Oct 2004|03:00pm]


i made this icon so long ago. i love this icon.
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never talk on the phone at 2 in the morning. you'll be real tired in when you wake up. [03 Oct 2004|02:37pm]
[ mood | tired ]

i'm tired. it's all jim's fault. i was up until 2 talking to him on the phone. i was trying to be quiet, so my grandparents would suspect i was on the phone. but i didn't do to well. i dropped a bookcase.. ^__^
i wanna go to a concert or something, but i don't know of any good ones. i could look in the city paper. but i really don't like many of the local baltimore bands. their like wanna be punks ^__^
my friend annette wants me to go to this mixer at Calvert Hall...but i don't really wanna go...but i do wanna see her. YAR!!


I HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAND OF A FLEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
good times jim, good times.

choa bella

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my love life...haha, what love life! [02 Oct 2004|01:42pm]
[ mood | ditzy ]

i'm such a weird person...i'm bored, so guess who i like. you'll probably get it...he has a livejournal...he might even be reading this now....weird thing is, i don't even know him, but yet i have a crush on him...and i've only talked to hime on the phone. ..eep...that gave it away.

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